I know they're better than this...

An open letter to the Canadian Film Board,

Okay... I've seen four of your films now, films that have been dubbed classics. Kamouraska, Maria Chapdelaine, Mon Oncle Antoine, and Jesus de Montreal. I must say that of these four films, only one was any good.

Come on Canada... I know you're better than this. Kamouraska may have been the worst two hours I've spent watching a film in the last ten years. Maria Chapdelaine, NO FUN AT ALL. Mon Oncle Antoine, a pre teen choir boy watching a barely clothed woman bouncing on a couch (seriously, did you go into the future and find footage from the Man Show?) and this after he gets drunk and loses a body that he's bringing back to the funeral home.

I loved Montreal. I really liked Quebec City. Your people are nice, friendly, serve good food, play nice music. Winter sucks, I'll give that to you, perhaps you came up with all of these film concepts in the middle of winter after getting stuck in the snow and having to kill a bear and crawl inside of its stomach to keep warm (seriously, do you guys still do that, because it sounds pretty darn cool if you do).

SO... I think I have one film left to watch in this class. It better be good. I'm giving you another chance.

Don't screw this up, please.

A+ (but your films are right now D+)