Hello again

I title too many of my posts this way. I know that this is not exactly a high traffic site, but I feel I owe people an apology since I don't update more regularly.

Lately I've just been tired, and a bit under the weather. Nothing major, just the end of the school year being around the bend blues. The end of the school year is normally a subject that can be met with much celebration because it stands for the liberation of summer, warm weather, some time to relax, etc.

Unfortunately, and I don't know when or why this started, the beginning of summer takes on a different type of meaning for me now (and for the past three years)

- Will I have a job this summer (or will I be liberated to be poor and sad)?
- Will the window air conditioner cause our electric bills to be in the 100s of dollars again?
- Can we afford to do anything fun and vacationlike this summer?

I hate it. Money is indeed one of the roots of all evil. I've struggled with this concept for years and years now. I suppose it's one of the traits I inherited from my Grandfather : wanting to be able to provide my wife and eventual family with what they deserve and what they need (not that this is MY job, rather GOD's job). My father did a great job of providing for my family with the VERY little that he earned as a pastor in North Dakota. Once we moved back to Ohio, his salary went up a bit, and eventually my mom went back to work because she didn't just want to sit around the house (and because she still has a masters in education and wanted to put it back to good use). I don't come from a family where money was discussed, worried about (at least not in front of my sister and I), spent frivolously, or locked away tightly in a safe where no one could get to it. It was there and it was respected, but it didn't rule our lives.

So where did my worries about money come from?

I've turned this issue over to God many times, because I really do believe that He is the provider of all things, and that the money that I earn here on earth won't serve me when I die. I've even come to the conclusion on several occasions that I believe that Amanda and I aren't meant to have lots of money for ourselves alone because we are to put it to work in His name. But I still have those nagging worries about money, bills, vacation time, etc.

So, in conclusion, some prayer would be nice, just for peace about this situation.

Thanks!

A+