Various Thoughts...

Recently, while watching the amount of schlock that both Hollywood and major networks are putting out, I've come to a rather unpleasant conclusion.

Bad is the new good.

I know that this is nothing new, but I really have to wonder what the motivation for putting out sequels to movies that no one watched in the first place, putting out tv miniseries that are absolutely certain to bomb because of their... badness...

Here's my theory.

Hollywood and networks are motivated by two things... viewership and money.
Anything that they produce has to do one of two things... cost so little to produce that it's guarenteed to make money or generate so much viewership that no matter how much it cost to make it will make money.
Given that the latest two Miniseries on network television are both so execrably bad (The next earthquake movie and the one about the bird flu killing everyone) that they couldn't possibly hope to generate positive feedback from anyone who isn't deaf and blind, they must either have cost nothing to produce or be banking on the Ed Wood factor.

Ed Wood seems to be the best possibility.

The miniseries are so bad that people must want to watch them simply to talk about how terrible they are. I didn't watch them, but having seen trailers and clips (thank you Youtube), I'm almost sorry I missed them. I suppose it's in this vein that I want to see the next Samuel L. Jackson movie "Snakes on a Plane." It can't be good. I just hope it's bad enough to entertain me.

I do believe that Networks and Hollywood have come up with the next golden formula.
"How bad does it have to be before it gains cult status."

Okay. Given this mantra for the 21st century, Here are a few ideas that I've come up with for new movies and or television miniseries.

"Tsunamicainadoquakeano" - Okay... the Earthquake causes a massive Tsunami which in turn crashes into the mainland with enough force to cause a SECOND earthquake which sets off a volcano and the resulting atmospheric disturbance causes a terrible hurricane which then causes Tornados to rip through the heartland. It's actually a love story between an Iraq War Veteran and a Landmine victim with no legs who has illegally immigrated to the US. Tearjerker, Political Reaction piece, Disaster Action Movie, Patriotic heartwarmer. It can't lose.

"Prarie Dogs: Underground Danger" - An underground nuclear test is being conducted in New Mexico, and irradiates a family of Prarie Dogs. Fast forward 15 years to a child playing innocently on a swingset when... shlooooooop... the swingset and the child are sucked underground by a massive herd of giant radioactive prarie dogs. Soon giant office buildings are being sucked underground by the force of the prarie dogs who... get this... crave electrical power... and blood (of course).

Okay... I must get back to work, but give me some feedback. Help me to make millions by creating the next sensation in Television/Movie history.

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