THX: THE MOVIE EXPERIENCE

Okay, here's a superior idea that will make all of my other ideas obsolete. What if Hollywood simply did a movie dedicated to the THX sound. You know the one I'm talking about... the one at the beginning of the movie that goes "beeeeeeeeooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh" I'm talking mega millions on this idea, because everyone gets all tingly anyway when they hear that sound, so why not cash in on the rush people would get when listening to a three hour epic adventure that goes through every arpeggiation of the THX sound, perhaps changes keys a few times, uses different beats. For example...

Samba THX "Be be ow ow be bebe ow ow be bebe ow ow be bebe ow ow be (whistles and horns)..."

Disco THX "Be de de Ow de de Be de de Ow de de Be de de Ow de de AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (dramatic drum chorus) Be de de ow de de be de de ow de de BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY be de de ow de de..."

Porn Soundtrack THX "BEEOOOOWWWW chacka chacka, ting ting, chacka chaka, BEWWOOOOW WOWW chacka chacka, ting ting chacka chacka

Industrial THX "actual THX sound is obliterated by the heavy drum beats and bass riffs"

Phillip Glass THX "As THX plays in the background, something by Allen Ginsberg is read backwards as the tone is changed repeatedly. End effect should lead the audience to realize that they are destroying the world with their negative energy i.e. Plutonium Ode."

I think this is a blockbuster idea here. I'm ready to cash in on the THX experience, are you?

A+

Various Thoughts...

Recently, while watching the amount of schlock that both Hollywood and major networks are putting out, I've come to a rather unpleasant conclusion.

Bad is the new good.

I know that this is nothing new, but I really have to wonder what the motivation for putting out sequels to movies that no one watched in the first place, putting out tv miniseries that are absolutely certain to bomb because of their... badness...

Here's my theory.

Hollywood and networks are motivated by two things... viewership and money.
Anything that they produce has to do one of two things... cost so little to produce that it's guarenteed to make money or generate so much viewership that no matter how much it cost to make it will make money.
Given that the latest two Miniseries on network television are both so execrably bad (The next earthquake movie and the one about the bird flu killing everyone) that they couldn't possibly hope to generate positive feedback from anyone who isn't deaf and blind, they must either have cost nothing to produce or be banking on the Ed Wood factor.

Ed Wood seems to be the best possibility.

The miniseries are so bad that people must want to watch them simply to talk about how terrible they are. I didn't watch them, but having seen trailers and clips (thank you Youtube), I'm almost sorry I missed them. I suppose it's in this vein that I want to see the next Samuel L. Jackson movie "Snakes on a Plane." It can't be good. I just hope it's bad enough to entertain me.

I do believe that Networks and Hollywood have come up with the next golden formula.
"How bad does it have to be before it gains cult status."

Okay. Given this mantra for the 21st century, Here are a few ideas that I've come up with for new movies and or television miniseries.

"Tsunamicainadoquakeano" - Okay... the Earthquake causes a massive Tsunami which in turn crashes into the mainland with enough force to cause a SECOND earthquake which sets off a volcano and the resulting atmospheric disturbance causes a terrible hurricane which then causes Tornados to rip through the heartland. It's actually a love story between an Iraq War Veteran and a Landmine victim with no legs who has illegally immigrated to the US. Tearjerker, Political Reaction piece, Disaster Action Movie, Patriotic heartwarmer. It can't lose.

"Prarie Dogs: Underground Danger" - An underground nuclear test is being conducted in New Mexico, and irradiates a family of Prarie Dogs. Fast forward 15 years to a child playing innocently on a swingset when... shlooooooop... the swingset and the child are sucked underground by a massive herd of giant radioactive prarie dogs. Soon giant office buildings are being sucked underground by the force of the prarie dogs who... get this... crave electrical power... and blood (of course).

Okay... I must get back to work, but give me some feedback. Help me to make millions by creating the next sensation in Television/Movie history.

A+

The Master has landed...

As of May 22 at 12:30pm I was officially recognized as worthy of the MA in French. So, this means that THE PARTY IS ON!!!

June 11th 5-9pm
214 Fallis Road

Bring anything you'd like to bring, but as of right now, I don't think there's much need for anything. I'm sure my wife will want to send out real invitations, but for now, this is what you get.

So it's all over but the rest of the quarter, papers, work, etc.

"Nothing changes on New Year's Day..." or on the day you get your MA.

Well... I'm happy nonetheless.

A+

odd... three posts in one week?

Yeah, tell me about it... this is nuts...

Feeling the letdown after the stress of the last few days... the whole "olympic athelete" depression/confusion syndrome. So many months of prep, so that if I had a spare moment I at least had something to occupy my time, so much work done so I could do well, and then the realization that it's all done and now the waiting begins, the realization that I did fine (I hope) and that... well... it's not that big of a deal for most people. Not to get down on myself, I realize that getting a degree beyond the BA is an important step in my career, and that no one is really saying "Oh big deal, you got another two years of education" but still...

Sigh... the return to real life is kind of a bummer. I have normal homework and normal papers to write now.

And I don't want to...

BUT I FINISHED WELL! And I'm still excited to think that I'll get to defend my knowledge against leading experts(?) in their fields (as opposed to people with Mad Cow disease... call me whiskers ;) )

Okay, gotta go teach now... for 8 1/2 more hours... ummmmm... yeah...

A+

And exhale......................................

9 hours (every bit of it too) and three tests later, I only have a one hour oral exam to go before I find out about my status as a Masters student.

Brief Rundown

Day one
9-12 19th century lit - 12 pages double spaced
1-4 Linguistics - 5 pages single spaced (+/- 10 double)

Day two
9-12 20th century lit - 13 pages double spaced.

I'd love to give you a breakdown of the topics I discussed, but I'm still trying to figure them out myself. In fact, I'm actually not supposed to discuss the exams anyway... but really... Oh what the hay... I'll try anyway.

In no particular order:
Discuss the idividual who has revolted against society.
Talk about absurdism, what is it? why does it exist?
Is the 20th century the century of the autobiography? What types of autobiography are there?
Is gender a "floating signifier" in literature?
Translate something (okay, it was a specific text, but I'm pressed for space and sworn to secrecy)
Talk about definite, indefinite, and the lack of the article in a text.

Ick... although I think I did fine. I'm still trying to figure out how I managed to get three single spaced pages out of that gender thing... go figure.

Well... that means that after my oral exam next monday I will know whether I'm destined to remain Andrew Anderson MA candidate (I'd probably change the title to something snazzy like ANDY ANDERSON BA+2) or whether i'm destined to become Andrew Anderson, Ph.D. candidate... it does have a nice ring to it.

Okay, A+

Maze indeed

One week minus a few days until I potentially go from being M.A. Candidate to M.A. recipient. I know that it's been a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time since I last wrote anything, but the Individualized Instruction Center is pretty dead today and so I have lots of time on my hands and have gotten tired of reviewing books with Sparknotes, the Interactive Gutenberg Library Website, and any number of sites with books that I have yet to read in the MA context (or yet to read period). Thus, I am, for the moment, Here.

Here's a brief rundown of everything I've read in the last few days,

Endgame (fin de partie) by samuel beckett
Mme Bovary by Flaubert- read this a long time ago so refreshed with an in depth 30 page review
Ubu Roi by alfred Jarry
Rhinoceros by Eugene Ionesco
Les Chaises by Eugene Ionesco
Le Rouge et le Noir by Stendhal
In depth review of Pere Goriot by Balzac
three stories taken from The Wall by Jean Paul Sartre
A ton of articles about Absurdist Theatre, Romanticism, Existentialism, Feminism, Modernism, Naturalism (for those that remember old DOS coding i believe it boils down to *.ism this week).

Still on my list of review topics, Paris and Province (compare and contrast literature wise), the Nouveau Roman (new novel phase of the 1950's-present), and anything linguistics related.

A+ (probably much +er because I'll be busy until... then... whenever then is...)